Hi guys. I know I haven't done anything on here yet, but I'm planning on changing that. I had an obsessive need to figure out how to start my book, and I think this will be a good intro. Now that it's out of the way, I'll feel better able to read other people's things. Thanks for your patience and epic writing :) Here's the introduction for my Bond Wars series. First drafts are mostly dialogue for me, but I've tried to incorporate some setting into it for you. I'm trying to make this intro shocking/gripping, so any feedback/advice/anything you have to offer is kindly appreciated.
Enjoy if you are so inclined. -Rue Lane
“What do you mean you killed him?”
“I only know of one way to interpret that sentence, Seth. Don't play dumb.”
“But you couldn't have! He's...he's your--”
“My what? My father?” Canter replied. He couldn't help the tone of disgust that embedded itself in the word. Father. The title was meaningless now, along with plenty of other titles in the world. “He stopped being my father when he murdered my mother.”
“He didn't murder her,” Seth protested.
“No, I suppose he didn't,” Canter admitted, nodding his head in beat with his footsteps as they ascended the stairs, heading out of the secret dungeons his father practically called home. “But he arranged her death all the same.”
Canter was sorry for not warning Seth about the murderous intent of this visit. Seth was the one person he could rely on in this world, the friend who stuck with him after his mother's death so many years ago. Those black months after her murder, Canter didn't speak to anyone, not even Seth, but for some reason his friend stayed by his side, defending him against the other children who made fun of his self-imposed muteness. It was difficult to keep any secrets from his best friend, especially the truth about his mother's death and the revolutionary plan Canter had already set in motion.
But he feared that if Seth had known beforehand, he would've tried to stop Canter. Seth was always a gentle person, avoiding violence whenever possible, and so Canter felt there was no other option but to wait until this moment to reveal the truth. As Canter was gathering his thoughts, preparing to explain the situation and his plans for the future, Seth said something that shook him down to the innermost core of his being.
“It wasn't like that. He did it for you, Canter. He didn't want to, but he had to. I thought you understood that.”
Canter stopped on the staircase and held out his arm to stop his friend from passing him. “How did you know about this?” He slowly turned his head. “How did you...” Canter couldn't finish his sentence. Too many thoughts were clogging his head, making speech difficult, if not impossible.
“Everyone knew what he'd done. How do you think he became the leader of the Society?” Seth looked confused, concerned. “He was willing to sacrifice the love of his life to further the cause, to gain your loyalties to the Society. It was the only way to seal his authority, to convince everyone that he deserved his position not just because of his bloodline, but because he was committed to the cause. No one else could imagine making that sacrifice.” Seth put his hand on Canter's shoulder, looking him in the eyes. “Cant, your mother was corrupting you. It wasn't personal.”
“She wasn't corrupting me!” He jerked back and watched his friend's arm fall through dead air. “Why didn't you tell me this?” The pain at his friend's secret, the betrayal, ran deeper than his anger at his father. “All this time, and you didn't tell me!”
“I thought you knew,” Seth replied in wonderment. “Your father said he'd explained it all, that you took it well, but that you never wanted to speak of it again. He said you went mute because you were ashamed of your mother, that you were ashamed you ever trusted her. He told everyone to respect you and forget the matter. So we did.”
Canter felt as if reality had shifted—and indeed it had. His whole life since he was seven years old, it was all tainted by betrayal. Betrayal by his father, betrayal by Seth, betrayal by the entire Society. They murdered his mother, and his father arranged for it to be kept a secret from him, all to ensure they'd retain the loyalties of the ancient bloodline, the rightful heir of the First Noble. His plans for the future had to be altered now. Not much, but enough to test Canter's resolve to do the right thing.
“I didn't know until a few months ago,” Canter revealed.
“I would've told you if I had known, you know I would,” Seth promised.
“I do, don't worry. I know your loyalty for me runs deep.” It was that fact that made it so hard for Canter to do the right thing. Canter proceeded up the stairs, Seth following closely behind. “But I must tell you the truth. I do not regret my actions. I apologize if this upsets you, Seth, because I know how much you admired him, but it was easy to kill my father.” He turned to face Seth again, pausing for a moment to once again notice the torches hanging in their brackets on the side of the spiral staircase. The flames never seemed to die out. “He stopped being my father when he killed my mother, the person I loved most in the world.” Canter's voice was calm, as if he were explaining the life-cycle of a butterfly to a child. “When he killed her, he also killed my love for him.”
“Canter, you can't mean that.”
“But I do,” he insisted. He dropped his head, as if embarrassed about the words he was about to say next. “When I found out he was behind her murder, I felt nothing but hatred. All love and respect for my father faded as quickly as a wickless candle,” he said as he set his hand atop the closest torch. He fought the urge to pull his hand away, the instinct to scream at his burning flesh. Soon enough, the torch went out, replaced by the scent of charred skin.
“Canter! Your hand!”
“Let me finish,” he said, waving his friend's concerns off in the now darkened underground tower. “As I said, my love for him was gone. And now that I found out you knew about it, that you understand why he killed her...”
Somehow in the darkness, Seth could see a sly grin on Canter's face. Maybe it was his imagination playing tricks, but Seth couldn't help taking a step back in fear. It was that step that cost him his life, for he could easily have outrun Canter, the slim man who never found much joy in exercising to prove his strength. No, Canter was a man of the mind, and Seth knew from the look in his eyes that Canter was about to prove just how strong a man of the mind could be. But that step backwards caused Seth to lose his balance. He stumbled down a few stairs, reached out for Canter, calling his name.
“Well,” Canter continued. “Let's just say that I've never felt this way before.” Canter watched his friend's silhouette as it struggled to maintain balance, suppressed the slight feeling of doubt he had in his mind, and then pushed him down the stairs. Canter knew the fall would be fatal. Such steep stone steps were unforgiving.
And so Canter completed the beginning of his mission to do the right thing and cleanse the Society. He had originally planned to keep Seth at his side through the restoration of the original beliefs and ways of the First Noble, but it was clear that Seth was...what was the word he'd used? Oh, yes. Corrupted. Seth was corrupted.
Canter examined his hand on his way up the stairs, back to ground level. It wasn't bleeding--not that he expected it to. It was a cauterized wound, of course. But he'd have a nasty scar for the rest of his life, a fact he relished. If ever he became discouraged or doubted his abilities to fulfill his mission, he could look at his hand and remember the night he killed Seth, the night he killed his father.
